For Ladida

Oh I wish 
It could be easier than this…
How did it happen this way?
It’s hard to say,
I feel meaningless and trite
Maybe I’ve got me too tied
Up in this garbage that I don’t even like.
But I remember how you sighed..
==
Death is not the worst
Thing, or the farthest.
The first
Time is always hardest.

So try not to be
Afraid. 
It’s a gift we
Have made.

I wish for sweeter things
To give you,
But nothing’s
Bitter without purpose too.

String you words along
And see who will swallow
A great song

Is for who will follow.

==

Please, come on
Say something on topic
You’re taking too long
And it’s making me sick.

Ah, For Ladida

Lay your head in my arm
And sleep. Dream of me
And keep me warm.
I promise I’ll be
Here to hear each of your sighs
And here when you open your eyes.

Don’t remember, please
There are such nicer things we’ve
Done and said 
To be remembered.

Please, please, please
Every one of my dreams…
What do I want? For you to be
Pleased with me…

I love you, I love you
It means something, do
You feel it yet?
Sunset.

I’ve never slept so well
I’m not even sure when I fell
Asleep. Just the look in your eyes…
Sunrise.

Softest lips…
What a life I have lived
This year. 
I’m still here.

I don’t mean to shiver
Like this.. I’ve never
Been loved this way
Before. 

Pure and clean, sincere -
The finest man I know.

Darling, I’m here,

I’m with you wherever you go.

Not my God, but my
Most cherished gift from Him. Why-
I’ll never understand. 
I quiver to hope… My husband?

How Much Blood Can There Be in Me?

“How much blood can there be in me?”
She asked her mirror 
The mirror offered nothing, or
She couldn’t hear. 
[Deafness is a problem, dear]

“How many bones have been sown
Into my frame?”
Just the same. 
No answers, of course.
[It’s the muteness of the source.]

O For Ladida!

"I love you," whispers in the sun
Create the perfect rest - 
And make me soft and my reason
Weak enough to accept forgiveness.

So sweet - 
Dipping in and out of sleep, whole
With you. Hot breath and feet.
I am a body and a soul.

What more is there to know?
My beloved loves me back.
More than I'd thought to hope for, oh,
My precious thing leaves me nothing to lack.

More than I'd thought to hope for, oh,
My precious thing leaves me nothing to lack.
What more is there to know?
My beloved loves me back.
===
"Please" he softly bids
Against the murmurs and hums. 
Flutter of eyelids.
But if that moment never comes… 

All lips and dripping skin
Warmth and breath.
Where else have I ever been?
Here is safest.

These fingers are the sun
Willing that I should be the only one
That tastes the shine
The light is mine.

 Stars in my mouth, fall
Into me. I choke. I am all
A mess of pleasure. 
Stars are my treasure.

Stars on my neck, explode on my breast
Perfect rest.
Ancient ice in my lung
But we are the only one.

For Ladida

Exist - 
The simplest task
Or command. 
But, you've missed
How much that really is to ask.
Please, understand.

Understand- 
I wish it was not
Such a need 
In me. Sand
Doesn't rot
And doesn’t bleed.

For Ladida

I can't write your poem, love,
Though I've tried and tried,
I can only string un-pretty things,
Because that's all I've got inside.
===
I'm too tired 
To right now,
Please,
I know how
I told you I
Like it when
I can't think
But, then,
It's my soul
This time
It's my soul that's tired
Of being fucked. I'm
Assuming you know
This is fucking,
It's all twisting a movement,
Pulling and bucking.
You must notice
My spirit is missing.
It's okay
You didn't hurt it,
I sent it away.
===
If you won't feed me 
Your grief, 
Well, I still need to be
Fed.
I'll cry for relief
So you'll feed me and put me to bed.
===
Let's go to bed - 
What was heard
And what was said
Was the same word.
The misunderstanding 
Is almost funny,
What your demanding
Is me.
A high price
For a night's rest
But your nice
If not best.
===
Like little kids
Marveling at nothing more
Than the difference between bodies.
Please-
He softly bids
[Whore]
===
I love the sound
Of skin slipping over sheets
And I can make it alone,
But it sounds so sweet
Along with the pound
Of your heart through my bones.
===
Irresistible - 
If you can't recognize it 
When you see it, you're
Obviously too stable

I'm a Darling Liar

I'm a darling liar, funny
And cute. They don't know me,
But that does not inhibit
My purpose. I'm a creator
I make fun, or
A fine counterfeit. 

Since they feed on fun,
They'll stay near me till they're done
Feeding, since I've done my part
They will feed me.
I live on misery -
I love to lick the sadness off your heart.

So why am I with you?
Diversion makes you sick, too
So I've nothing to give.
And I know you're full of what I feed
On, but you won't bleed
For me. This is no way to live…

We're starving together, at least
And there's no feast
For the unstable
Like suffering with someone you - 
Love? Is that true?
Are we really able….?